Wednesday, 31 December 2014

From the very beginning.

Perhaps because I have to start a new life, from the very beginning.
Perhaps because I have nothing promising yet.
Perhaps because people start to ask about my personal life.
Perhaps because unnoticeably, I start to compare my happiness with everyone around me.

I started to miss so many things that were part of my life, in Germany.

the efficient and well-scheduled buses and trains,
the priority for pedestrians when using the zebra crossing,
the secured feelings even when I walk out alone at night,
the strangers greeted me 'Hallo' or 'Morgen' and gave the nicest smile,
the people who are not judging other people,
the old couples beautifully walking hand to hand together,
the language, though it might sound pretty tough for women hehee,
the beautiful parks and hills I've visited and more to visit,
the cheap groceries shopping I did every week,
the effective separation of garbages according to the types,
the water that can be drunk directly from water tap,
the fresh air, the weather and the lovely four seasons,
the waffles, coffees and pastries they sell at most of the bakeries,
the punctuality of the people,
the fast internet connection (ohh definitely a big YES!),
the satisfied online shopping especially during sale via,
the awesome insurance paid, covered mostly everything including dentist,
the passionate football fans singing their favourite team's song,
the cute traditional 'baju kurung' and 'baju melayu' they often wore during festivals,
the random advertisements in Deutsch whenever I listen to Spotify,
the privacy, owned a room for myself,
the less people talk about me and my private life, and less I care about them.

The thing about Germany I miss the most is..
You. Yes, YOU. I miss you.

Everything has changed now.
I feel distant, like everything is happening but I'm not really feel it. 
The emptiness and that constant distance from everything.
No matter where my body is, my mind is somewhere else.

I know I have to work my way out of it.
I'm trying.

P.s. My heart is aching and tears start to fall without notice.

with love,

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