Sunday, 27 October 2013

turning 27 on the 27th.

Yet here I am again, today Oct 27, I am officially 27 years old, and I am single. 

I haven’t freaked out about my age in a while. I know panicking about getting old is a bad idea, especially when panicking about getting old, and being single. I mean like, people my age are married, buying houses, having kids. And I'm still living my life like a 21 year old.

Many people asked me why I am still single. The answer is, I don’t know. My mom once told me, it is ok to be single since I am still a student. But then I realized, what if, I know it a bad thing to think of ‘what-if’ word, but really, what if I never thought of pursuing master studies, and still stuck in the office working hard from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. as junior engineer like I did a year ago? Am I going to meet my Mr. Right? Or am I still going to be single, like forever?

Speaking of which, everyone decent my age and older are already taken. My friends are mostly married, with kids or engaged. Cousins at my age are safely married or are getting married by next year. My younger sister is getting married end of this year. The feelings that I have missed the boat and there is not much left for me scares me the most.

People said, enjoy your single life while you can. I, in fact, enjoy it so much that once in a while I feel glad I am what I am now. I can go travel whenever I like, I read novels whenever I am free. I go shopping whenever it’s on sale, or not. I can do whatever I like without permission from anyone (other than my family). I really enjoy every bits of my single life. Really.

It just, sometimes, this kind of feelings occurred; like a few days ago on a fine night, yes I've realized that I've made the same thing; ruminating, prove on my 26th birthday post, guess I really have to get rid of this unhealthy habit! Oh and yes, I laid on my bed ruminating about this, and this time no joke, I tried to cry. I tried hard, but I couldn’t. I found no answer. But I know, I feel the emptiness inside. So I ended up performing wudhu, pray and sleep.

Well on the positive note, today, I turn a ripe old age of 27 and, as much as I'm not thrilled to be inching toward thirty, I'm pretty excited to look back on the past year and reflect on what an amazing, positive experience it was. There were, as there always will be, some tough times, but over all, I learn more and more and, that's one of the best highs life has to offer; looking back and realizing just how far you've come because of all that you've learned.

Ok I might sound like trying to change the content of my issue earlier; being single. Yes, I am, indeed. Rather, I believe that Allah has a flexible plan for each human being: a plan that Allah has written it all in al-Lawh al-Mahfooz. Positive, much? I am, and will always try to be one.

That’s all for this year. Happy 27th birthday to me. 

“Know you not that Allah knows all that is in the heaven and on the earth? Verily, it is (all) in the Book (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz). Verily, that is easy for Allah." {Al-Hajj 22:70}

with love,

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