Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Because I believe she can do it.

Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last 
- Napoleon Hill 
 
Last Monday morning after Deutsch language class, I went to the library at the faculty to study for the test that night. The library was full of students, so I randomly sat at an empty seat left. I was facing a female student studying with her friend. I’ve turned on my laptop, opened my book and started to do some reading.

After a few hours, her friend went back home for lunch left her there, studying. I asked her to look after my stuff since I need to go to the toilet. And when I got back, she asked the same, to look after her stuffs. That was the only conversation we had. We’ve continued studying till evening, till not much students left in the library.

“Akak part berapa?” she suddenly asked me.

“Akak part 1, master student..” I looked at her and replied.

“Ohh.. tak susah eh belajar master? Saya blajar degree ni pun saya rasa stress gile.”

“Susah jugak sebenarnya, tapi akak layankan je la. Adik course apa?” I asked.

“Chemical Engineering part 1. Memang susah sangat-sangat. Tak tau da nak buat camana. Semua bende da usaha, tapi susah jugak.” And that moment her tears fell down on her cheeks. Then I realized, she is really under pressure. I tried to calm her down.

“Ye ke? Part 1 memang susah, dik. Nak adapt dengan environment baru, style belajar baru. Ni mesti baru dapat test paper balik ni kan?” I guessed.

“Aah kak, teruk sangat. Padahal da study pun tak dapat jugak. Sebab saya asalnye masa diploma ambil Biologi. Masuk degree ambil Chemi. Memang dua benda yang berbeza sangat la, menghafal dengan calculation. Satu yang banyak baca, yang satu lagi banyak konsep dan main kira-kira. Masa diploma dulu tak ada sentuh calculator pun, berhabuk je dalam kotak. Otak da macam tak boleh terima. Pastu kawan-kawan pun tak ramai sangat sebab kiranya saya beza umur dengan classmates saya 3 tahun, dah la diorang budak pandai-pandai, tak nak berkawan sangat dengan saya.”

La ye ke. Kenapa macam tu skali? Diorang tau ke adik tua dari diorang? Ala umur bukan apa-apa pun. Kenapa tukar Chemi?”

“Aah diorang tau. Saya pernah tanya jugak kenapa diorang macam taknak kawan dengan saya. Tak payah ber’kak’ sangat, aku, kau cukup. Diorang cakap terasa age gap tu, so diorang rasa tak selesa. So diorang prefer jauhkan diri. Tu la dulu ada la kawan-kawan tanya kenapa amik lain dari bidang. Dulu saja la tukar Chemi, orang cakap ukur baju di badan sendiri. Tapi da jadi macam ni memang tau la kesilapan tu, tak tau la nak buat camane.” She wiped her tears.

“Tak apa, dik. Jangan give up dulu. Engineering is more to pahamkan konsep, dan apply. Practise. Akak dulu pun sama jugak, slalu tua setahun dari classmates sebab akak dari matrik setahun, pastu masuk diploma. Tapi tu bukan sebab untuk kita jadi down. Try to make it as motivation. Masa first sem degree pun akak takut jugak, banyak sangat subjek takut tak boleh carry. Ada satu subjek yang lecturer memang masuk kelas, tak ajar langsung, akak stay up sampai 6 pagi untuk study subjek tu je. Make effort. Tapi Alhamdulillah akak dapat jugak dekan for that semester.”

“Tu la, saya slalu time malam nak tido, tetibe teringat subjek saya tak faham. So saya bangun balik bukak buku. Tido pun da tak lena teringat je macam-macam.” She said.

“Ye ke. Tu memang stress sangat. Jangan stress. Subjek-subjek macam ni kene cuba fahamkan dalam kelas. Tak faham, angkat tangan, tanya. Baik-baik dengan senior, dapatkan notes diorang. Notes diorang memang sangat membantu. Da dapat test paper balik kan? Nanti dapat carrymarks, kira balik, berapa kena score untuk final paper kalau nak dapat A. Kalau carrymarks sikit, struggle untuk final. Kalau rasa paper tu susah, score paper lain. Tapi usaha jugak, study untuk subjek tu. Akak buat camtu dulu. Jangan risau, boleh buatnye..” I said.

“Ye ke, kak. Saya nak kene struggle lagi ni. Sekarang ni pun tak cukup tido. Kalau satu hari ade 48 jam pun belum tentu saya boleh tido. Takpe la tak tido pun saya tak kesah..” She said.

“Jangan la sampai tak tido, dik. Tido tu penting, nanti kang cepat nampak tua. Hee. Yang penting skali, usaha,, and study smart.”

And that moment my friend Tasya came to my place. That female student packed her stuff to go back to the hostel.

“Akak ada test ke malam ni?” she asked me while getting her bag and books.

“Aah. Adik study ni, bila test?”

Takde test lagi, tadi study paham-pahamkan subjek. Study untuk final exam.” She smiled. Another 6 weeks left before final, and she’s already preparing for final exam.

“Oh ok.. jangan risau ok. Boleh buatnya. Boleh. BOLEH.”

Then she left. I’ve packed up my stuffs too and went to the café for dinner with Tasya. That student was in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about how pity she is. When I talked to her, it felt like I was facing myself, the old me… Or in her case, hers might be greater.

I should have gave her my phone number.. It’s not like I can help her in her subjects. I would love to, but we are in different course, so it is not gonna help her at all. I just want to tell her my stories. Not that I want to brag up about what I've achieved, but I want to tell her the journey I’ve took in order to reach what I got. All she needs now is motivation, I think.

If we meet again, I will make sure to get her phone number, maybe have a little chat over cup of coffee. If we don’t, I hope she will not gonna stop to work things out, try and do her best to get what she wants, and never give up. I don’t know how many times I’ve uttered that word ‘boleh’ to her, but I meant it. I don't know her, but I believe she can do it. InsyaAllah..




Salam Maalhijrah 1434H, everyone. Hopefully this year is better than the past years. May Allah s.w.t guide us all to Truth and keep us on the straight path, and improve our affairs and purify us for the hereafter, Aamin.

Our Dua'as are the best weapon we have. Let's get down to sujood, keep praying for Gaza and every Muslim who is suffering. One day, the children of Gaza will wake up to the sounds of birds and not bombs InshaAllah. #PrayForGaza



With love,

Thursday, 8 November 2012

As a student.


Study matters dragged me in dilemma lately. Not that I don't want to study when I have time, but I feel that I don't have enough time to do it. Doing Masters degree is definitely different from degree level. Somehow I feel like I can't wait for these 2 years to come to  an end. Yes, we did have pack classes during degree level, and we did thesis too, but Masters degree  level is completely different. In terms of friends, time management and surrounding.

FRIENDS. During diploma and degree level, I've been surrounded by top scorer bestfriends and later on became housemates, Yoy, Atoong, Hany and Shidah, and that particularly influenced me a lot in motivation prospect. I do miss them especially time like this. I miss how we actually helped each other psychologically, something like; when one person is studying, the others will have 'oh, I have to study too.' that kind of feelings. That might sound weird and sickening but actually that was how we survived, competitiveness in a positive way. 

In the end, we were all received the highest Vice Chancellor Award. Alhamdulillah. But of course, life goes on. Yoy is now a mother, Atoong just finished her MBA and currently an engineer trainee at Technip, Hany pursued her degree studies in the UK and now a civil engineer at consultancy company while Shidah is now an engineer at JKR.


TIME MANAGEMENT. I think I have highlighted about what kind of Master degree I'm taking now. It is a double Master degree programme. Maybe some of you may not understand what it is about. It is actually a programme created to have selected students to do Master level at two different universities and in my case, UiTM and Stuttgart University in Germany. So, where is the difficult part, Aya? 

Well, the difficult part is I have to carry all subjects offered by UiTM for a year instead of one year and a half in order to get the certificate from UiTM, and another year in Germany.  No I am not blaming anyone. I have expected this when I looked at the study plan given by faculty. But.. Can you imagine how pack my schedule is? Well 4 days of classes maybe not pack enough, but I don't even have time to study and make revision when assignments, projects, tests, quizzes and thesis are piling up!


SURROUNDING. My surrounding. I am staying with my family in Gombak and I have to commute 4 to 5 days a week to Shah Alam, spend 45 minutes on a clear road, and 2 hours if traffic is moving slow. It is more tiring when I have one class in the morning and the next class at night. And when I got home, I don't have space to study other than my bed. The environment is different. It feels different.


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Yesterday, I've received my very first test result this semester and it was Coastal and Harbour Engineering subject. It was an open book test, but I only managed to get 22/50. Yes, I've failed. I felt pretty upset with the result I've received which I expect I could get more or at least pass the borderline if I am now is what I used to be. 

The highest score in the class was 39/50. Maybe Dr Lee, the lecturer saw how upset we felt when we got the test paper back, he might didn't realize of what he said with 'Honestly, I don't feel that the highest scorer is intelligent and the others are not. It is a matter of he or she spent more time, put more efforts to understand and made extra revision to score this paper.' made most of us feel motivated, at least I feel that way.

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So I've come with this; It doesn't matter what factors that distracted me, it is about I, myself. Not whether I am ready to do this, of course I would say I am not ready all the time. But it is whether I want to do this or not. Yes, I want, and I need and want to put extra effort to do this. I want to be the same person I used to be. The old me, the hardworking me, the never-give-up-till-the-end me, the even better me. Yes, I want to be that kind of person again. 

So today, I, Azyan has set up my goals and will gear up my actions, which means. BATTLE. I promise to myself that I will not gonna give up till the end. I will be the old Azyan, will put extra effort, do all my best and commit to my studies till the end of semesters. InsyaAllah.

In order to be able to be that person, I can't bother about anything else. So, I've freezed my gym account for few months to concentrate on my studies plus, I can't afford to pay the fees tskkk. And about finding a husband candidate for myself, I... I think I will just go with the flow. If it happen that I meet the One, then I'll follow where the road leads us to. If not, balik Germany je la I will countinue hunting for men. Hunting kat Germany pun boleh kot :p Trying to stay and think positive is all that I can do.

Oh and since I don't have space to study, I've created one.

Makeup table is now my study table with mirror to picit jerawat and sengih2 depan cermin. May add more accessories soon.

Ok that's all for now. 

I feel fully motivated and I hope it will motivate everyone else as well, so I will continue doing my thesis. NOW. Bye!

Quote of the day.


Saturday, 3 November 2012

3 Nov 2012 Zatie's wedding.



.¸¸.•*¨*•*¨*.¸¸.

Zatie Zahari & Helmi Wahab

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May your love bloom brighter and your companionship grow sweeter with each passing year. Congratulations on your wedding, both of you! And Zatie, thanks for the flowers! It safely placed on my makeup table hee. Anyway, you looked stunning as always! Adore the pink dress so muchhhh. Gonna be my so kind inspiration later on. LATER ON. 
 

Sincerely,

2 & 3 Nov 2012 Sufilla's wedding.


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Sufilla Mohamed & Mohamad Abdul Jabbaar

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Solemnization : November 2nd, 2012



Reception : November 3rd, 2012


Dear Filla and husband Jabbaar, may your marriage be filled with all the right ingredients: a heap of love, a dash of humor, a touch of romance, and a spoonful of understanding. May your joy last forever till Jannah with soleh & solehah children. InsyaAllah. Congratulations!

Anyway Filla, kite ade test Slase ni, jangan lupeeeeeeee! hhee

Sincerely,