Sunday, 22 July 2012

Week 3: 30 Hari Mencari Cinta.

Day 15: 

It’s Monday, again. Time flies fast, I have another 2 weeks before I close the deal. Seems like I fall for him, completely. And I just realized it last night.

I was so out of the mood since yesterday, I don’t know why. Perhaps I stalked his Facebook account and found out he clicked ‘Like’ on one of the wedding photographic company, which I assumed he is interested in that kind of things like I do. But somehow it hurts me thinking of him actually have someone in his heart and on their way to wedding stage. Ouchh.

I regained my mood when colleague who went to the meeting with the architects, informed me that he wore red and black shirt, and coincidentally I was also wearing the same theme color, red and black blouse. Small matters swung my mood the whole day, totally.

I went to the gym and the first thing I noticed was him. He noticed me, put a smile on his face, and said Hi. I gave my sweetest smile, and replied Hi. And that was all. Fullstop. Why was I like that? When he was with his friend, I have so many things to ask, but when he was alone, I completely turned mute.

When I was in the class, through the mirror, I saw him passed by, already changed into his red and black shirt, going back home. I noticed he was looking while he was passing by, but I was completely immersed with Body Combat, I let him go just like that, and so my chance.

Well is not like I can stop him in the middle of the class, facing him with myself drowned with sweat for no reason! It’s not like I can say ‘I like you’ straight to his face. Duhh.

Day 16: 

I saw his friend when I was just about to checked in. So I thought he might be here. I put all my stuffs in the locker, and I went out to find out if I could meet him. I was like waiting for him in shopping mall, but seemed like he went off when I was in Guardian. So, ended up I didn't meet him that day.

Day 17: 

I am missing him, badly. BADLY!

Bad Mr Architect, you fool! Who are you to put me into this state? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME??

After deep thought and some calculations, I realized I only have one day left before Ramaddan, before I stop going to the gym during fasting month, and during Eid Mubarrak of course.

And before I might not be able to continue joining the gym again, forever. TOMORROW, I only have tomorrow.

I might not be able to see him again after this.

Day 18: 

It’s Thursday, The last day. And I arrived late! I saw his friend was waiting for him at the entrance. I’ve checked in and walked slowly. I took stairs step by step, slowly, while praying so that I could bump into him. One person came down, but it wasn’t him. Another person came down, again not him, but there was someone at his back. Yes, it was him.

We smiled to each other and said Hi. I took that last chance to be polite. I asked ‘Dah habis ke?’ Well, obviously yes. Are you blind, Aya? ‘Korang office hour sampai pukul berapa?’ And he answered me. And I was like ‘Ohh.. ok, bye.’  I.. I.. Ok kill me now!

That was the end of our conversation after few months of having this lovey dovey feelings. Ok, I am the only one having that feelings.

So since we might not be able to see each other again after this, I decided to add him as friend on Facebook. I had a lyric ‘I wonder what it is, I won’t let my gut down, for anyone but you..’  played in my mind over and over again. Ouch. I know it’s gonna hurt my pride from taking the first step by adding him on Facebook, but I left with no choice.

It was hard to click the button ‘Add Friend’, I clicked several times and didn’t work out until 12 a.m. sharp, my hands were cold, and my heart beat fast, I left him a message, and able to click ‘Add Friend’, finally!

Day 19: 

No response.

Day 20: 

No response. I feel like quiting my job, seriously. I don’t know how to face him or even talk to him on the phone when I have to. I DON’T KNOW! He left me in awkward situation.

Day 21: 

No response! I don’t know how to deal with this. How I wish he could at least accept my request, even without message, it's ok, I don't mind. Just. Accept. I would feel better if he did. But now.. You. Mr Architect. You. Hurt my pride.

I think it's time for me to end the deal. I can't meet him again, probably forever. I will explain everything in the next post. As for now, I give up. 


With love,

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