Monday blues again! What a meaningful week I had last week. Everything seemed so unreal. Life goes on, and the deal is still on. As usual, I met him at the gym, and he didn’t realize my arrival and I was walking behind him to the changing room. If only he could see me just for a second.. He was in stripe sleeveless shirt and shorts. I was planning to say Hi, but thank god I didn’t. When I looked into the mirror I was terrified, greasy oily face and pimple on my cheek was about to explode! Bhahaha.
Thought he left, so I went to the class straight away after change. While doing Body Combat, I saw him through the mirror, alone. He was doing some exercises outside the class, and sometimes he stopped and looked into the class through the glass window! Ok, he was looking, well not exactly at me of course. But suddenly, I forgot the steps, forgot how to kick and frequently made mistakes. And why on earth did I wear that obvious bright pink socks matching with my scarf? Ohh the ignominy of it!
He was exercising and sitting there for about 15 minutes, and I saw a sexy long hair lady talked to him. Ok. Ok. Hmm. Then she left. OK.
Hmm.. No news. He was not at the gym today.
Again, nothing happened.
Thursday, his gym day. As soon as I entered the gym at level 3, I saw him right away, and with his friend, of course. He was exercising at an open space where I have to pass through to get to the changing room. He saw me, and we smiled to each other, and said Hi with a hand wave. Ok.
I thought that was all, but he stopped me, and asked me questions regarding work! Hmm.. WORK. Why is that sounds so familiar? Quite a tactic, hahaa perasan. So we talked, and yes, I talked to him, with my eyes on him, stared at his eyes, at his nose, at his mouth and his teeth when he was smiling. No longer to his friend! Thank god I realize what kind of situation I was having that time.
But I was breathless, I don’t know why. Is it because I used stairs and he stopped me abruptly I didn’t even get a chance to catch my breath? Or is it because it was him, started a conversation with me and was there in front of me, I felt suffocated and breathless?
His friend one time interrupted us and joked ‘Korang ni, kita dekat gym pun nak cakap pasal kerja.’ Hahaa ok, fine.
But somehow we both continued our discussion and until we came out with a conclusion, we paused, we both looked quite have some other matters to talk about, but his friend stopped us with, ‘Ok, bye’ with a hand wave to me. Yes, he did that! Did I talk too much or something? Hmm.. I don't think so.
So, that was how our conversation ended. What a waste, wasn’t it? How I wish he was alone. I felt quite awkward in front of his friend. But I really have a lot to say.
Anyway, we wore same color of shirt, green. If only he could see it before he left..Sigh.
It’s Friday.. so, I can only see him at the gym next Monday. O’ Allah, if only you allow me to see him again this weekend, by coincidence.. But I know coincidence doesn't happen twice.
I went out, but no chance for the coincidence to happen. Of course, duhh.
I went to Wangsa Walk, lepaking with Petot and Nenot before I took of to the gym. Thought the class starts at 4 p.m., but I was wrong, it was actually at 5 p.m., so I continued jalan-jalan with them both for another hour.
When it was almost 5 p.m., I was about to go and dismissed, at the escalator, Petot who was facing me suddenly was in shocked, glared her eyes at me and was like, ‘Ayak ayakk. Pukul.. pukul.. pukul..’ was trying to sort out location of the target!
I had ‘What, what? You see him? Where? Where?’ thought in my mind, Nenot then said, ‘Pukul 12!’ Ok. Pukul 12 means he passed by behind me without realizing I was there, or he pretended not to see me. Oh sad, man! Anyway all I could see was just his sexy back in black shirt the same as I, again, passed by. Oh dear.
And I didn’t see him anymore that day. I assumed he was at the gym when I sneaked out for an hour. I should just stay. Or, I should stop him when he was passing by. He was alone, and I blew up the only chance.
Week 2 of '30 Hari Mencari Cinta' the Sequel.
Before I start this ’30 Hari Mencari Cinta’, I like him and it was fun. I like him for suka-suka, just to fill my empty heart and unexcited life I had. It’s been only 2 weeks, and too many things happened so out of my control. The hopes that I put to be able to meet him, somehow fulfilled and left me in awe.
I’m afraid to admit this, but the wall that I built in order to protect myself from falling in love too deep, collapses, and I fall for it, and I’m afraid I might not be able to return.
The fact that everything runs smooth as I want it to be, but he neither notices, nor gives positive feedback to it, I’m not sure if I should really continue doing this.. I’m afraid I might get hurt, and the scar remains till the end.