This is my letter for her after what she did to me, written sincerely from my heart.
Dec 27, 2007
Sorry sebab menghilang for a while..This is me, whenever I have problems, I will run away, keep it in my heart..Give me a break. I need time.Don't worry, I'm fine with it.I will forget everything after a while.I don't blame u for these.. You guys have your right to choose.
Thank you for telling me about it before bukak semester.If you tell me the truth face to face, kau adalah orang yang paling kejam.I don't think I have face to see you again. I don't need sympathy.At least now, I have time to think and accept it.Aku macam tak tahu apa guna kita pernah gaduh pasal laki tu. Sampai hampir putus kawan.Pathetic kan??Its like so sia-sia..Ia sangat memualkan aku sekarang. Really.Its so fake, and aku rasa sangat nak muntahhhh.
The promise that you make, and you break it, it doesn't matter anymore.. I don't care anymore.The fact that I said, "I TRUST U" that day.. I don't care anymore.Your acting and make me feel damn stupid.. I don't care anymore.Because its like, the history really repeated itself.The most scariest thing in my whole life, the nightmare, really, it happened again.Just, I can't believe it is you, really did it.Tuduh Hanis.. I can't forgive myself.If it happen again for the 3rd time, I really don't care anymore..Take everything from me, it doesn't make sense anymore..Im too tired for all of this.. penat.
You asked for my forgiveness, I forgive you for all of these. Because I know, Dia Maha Adil,akan ada hikmah and balasan di sebalik semua yang berlaku.But still, I will not forgive you for being like her.6 years, the old wound that she did is not healed yet. Then its your turn, make me in pain.I can't take it anymore.. Really.I can't forget it, forever.
But now, don't worry, I'm still the same I am.Treat me as the same Aya.and I will treat you as the same H...but I will not treat him as the same F....
"I'll do it for you, I will do anything for you"If u can't do like what you said,let me do it. and yes, I do it for you.My advise is don't make promises if you think you can't fulfill because it hurts.
Well, I can go on living my life pretending that everything is fine.And I'm not that stupid untuk buang kawan for such a guy.I really don't want to discuss about this anymore. Let it be.I'm ok now, really.Thank you for being such a pain. I get matured with it.